Thursday, February 25, 2010

Contemplative



I've been a bit contemplative lately. Thinking. Reflecting. Wondering. Doubting.

I could blame it on the season. Or just my personality. Or any number of things I suppose.

Just some days I wonder how I am doing as a mother.

Or how I am doing as a wife.

Other days I really wonder so many things. And doubt so many things.

What about this blog? Yes, it is for my daughters. But it has grown to be such an extension of myself. Where does it fit in?


Which is more frustrating? Not having the answers? Or, having the questions in the first place?

~Puking one's guts out all hours of the day leaves too much time for thinking.

Confucius said that I think.

-dana

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love your blog! Feel the same...questioning if I'm doing the right thing for my children, husband, myself but, like you, I just keep trying to do my best! Some days I think I hit the mark and others, I just have to regroup for another try~! Thanks for your blog.

Stacey said...

I can't comment on the mother, wife, self aspect since I don't know you personally but I do so love your blog. I think we all have various, constant doubts. All one can do is keep plugging along. Hope you feel better soon!

Olivia and Me said...

Do your best; leave the rest; angels do no more. - Unknown


I try to keep this in my mind everyday no matter what I do.

Second guessing causes doubt not only in You but the path that you're on. I always say .. "be strong and if I'm wrong I'll be the first to say I'm sorry and ask forgiveness"

with love,
Olivia

Katy said...

I hear ya sista! I often wonder, "am I doing my best? is there something more I should be/could be doing?" I think it is also partially a sign of the times. Just remember to keep your head up and a smile on your face! I always try to keep a smile on my face and was recently told that I smile too much...what?? My response, "No, people around me just don't smile enough!" *big beaming smile!*

Btw, I love reading your blog, simply lovely!

Always,
Katy

Ashley Ann said...

It looks like you're doing great to me! I think I have the mother thing down for now, but being the best wife I can be takes a lot of thinking, loving, and growing.

I hope you feel better soon! :D

BaileyGirl5 said...

I think it's the month. I always question myself in February . . . .

Annie of Blue Gables said...

Get well soon. And remember, this too, shall pass.
Rest, and let God take care of you for now, and soon, you will be back to your "normal" happy self.
~a

Amber said...

Been feeling the same thing too - hope everyone is feeling better!

Elissa said...

Confucius say: you're not the only one with mixed emotions. you're not the only ship adrift on this ocean.

what? oh yeah. sorry. that's the rolling stones.

anyway, right there with ya babe. me and mick. right. there. with ya.

WendyLou said...

Yup. February can be a yucky month. I think it's just cabin fever :) Wait a few weeks, then ask yourself all of those questions again - you'll have very different answers! Also, ask your husband and TRUST his answers :0

~Michelle~ said...

You sound like the Pioneer Woman, lol! Feel better soon :)

Trudi said...

Must be in the air, perhaps its the time of year. Hope the sickness phase passes soon enough. Feel better :) Enjoy the simple pleasures of everyday :)

DeeRoo said...

Oooo Dana...it's got to be the time of the year...and the heaving!;)

I believe you answered your own question...this blog....look back at it...kids look extremely happy, content and well taken care of and Razor.....gosh....is was there ever a happier looking man?:)

You're doing good girlie and like I have said before...you lifted me up out of a couple year funk...and to me that was TOTALLY worth it!!

Last but not least...it is always good to question, to think, to contemplate...good, good, good!:)
xo

corinnea said...

A little doubt keeps us striving. Too much cripples. Everything is about balance. I strive for balance everyday.

I enjoy stopping in and seeing a the bits of your life you like to share.

Hope you feel better soon.

Deb said...

Just so you know, I love your blog. I have a long list of blogs on my blog roll, but I always check yours when you post xxx

It's amazing how blogging does become such an extension of who we are. I can't beleive how it has enriched my life. I don't think something that makes me live in a way that notices things about me is a bad thing. I am always on the look out for beauty and creativity. It's great.

Because I can't spell, although I had lots of ideas I never wrote them down. But the computer has freed me from that and I'm loving writing.

I love taking pictures too.

What am I saying? well you know the old saying, when mama happy, everybody happy. I think it is part of what helps us to feel connected to others as mothers, and also to add a bit of necessary me time to our busy lives.

Gosh I can go on so.
Deb xx

Jessica Christensen said...

I agree with corrinea. Thinking about how we're doing, reflecting -- that keeps us striving to do better. If we never stopped to take stock and just coasted along -- that I think makes us worse as wives, mothers, and whatever else we are. The stopping to think about it shows how much we (you) really do care. And that makes you better. We always need to stop and check, readjust our course sometimes, trim the fat. I think having the questions in the first place is important, necessary (although it may be frustrating as well). Love your blog. Love the quilt-alongs. Love the laughter -- the snorting, tearing-up, side-holding laughter that I get to experience while watching everyone in your family dance before they can get in the car. I'm thinking about taking up that habit myself. ;)

Feel better.

Ruth B said...

Hmmmmm....sounds like you are in great need of chocolate. As moms and wives we do the best we can to meet everybody's needs every day. We often forget our own needs. You need to be kind to yourself and remind yourself that you are human and we all make mistakes. So when you mess up, just try a little harder in that area. But don't minimize the love and attention you give your family. Your kids won't remember the day to day things when they grow...they will remember the love. Now eat some chocolate...it couldn't hurt.

VeeV said...

Dana,

LOVE your blog!!!

Ditto ..... Deb's comments!!!

Ditto.... DeeRoo's comment!!!

xo
eva

Valerie said...

Wonder....I do the same. Wonder. Good thoughts. Good post.

sarah, rsm said...

I believe that DOUBTS are
Debts
Over
Untrue
Beliefs
Tithed
Surreptitiously.

While it doesn't always keep me from doubting, it does give me cause to wonder whether or not I am paying the debt of a bill which may never arrive ...

This I know for sure: if your lived life resembles even 5% of what your blog displays, you've nothing to fear.

Be gentle with your kind self, my friend.

sarah

ksrunt said...

I hope you feel better soon.

mrsrfair said...

It is easy to be hard on ourselves! I bet you are an awesome mom & wife. There is no better gauge than asking the ones you love if they are loved enough or do something special with them when you feel better. Life is all about second chances & forgiveness! Feel better soon & don't worry/think too much! I do have a dumplin recipe for you, just have to remember to get it when I'm on the comp next. :)

Karen said...

Dana, I'm sorry you're so sick! I hope you feel better soon.

I think sometimes being comtemplative can be a good thing. It helps us change and grow, and helps us know ourselves better.

I'm thinking about you and praying you feel better!

Nichol said...

I know how you feel. I'm sure you're doing wonderful. Love your blog and your soap is divine! ;)

brown robin said...

Wierd. wierd. wierd. Not you. I just came out of my daze to come check on you and here's your post, the same day as mine. Different, but the same. I question myself,and everything, so often. It's all good. We're right on track. There can be no growth without the fallow periods when the seeds are germinating, right? It's nice to know about the ups and downs in everyone's life because it reminds us of our human imperfection. What I know about you is beautiful, sister.

Birgit said...

Hi Dana,

Dearheart, thanks for allowing a peek into your world. Without your blog I would have never "met" you. And believe me -- you are doing wonderfully both as mother and wife. And you are brilliant as a blog friend for sure. No doubt about that. Stop thinking now -- just be yourself. :)

Hugs,
Birgit

CitricSugar said...

Anything taken as fact or truth without examination and questioning will ultimately prove unsatisfying. I think I would find more frustration in never having questions - the boredom of knowing everything would kill me. (plus - who would be able to stand me if I was LITERALLY a Know-it-all...??)

Confucius also said: Have some ginger tea and soda crackers and indulge in zero-question empty tv for a bit. Rest brain, rest tummy.

Take Care, my dear!

Anonymous said...

Oh, how we need to pray more and put the teachings og God in our life and then it smiles no matrter what..God Bless...

Shorty said...

I think being contemplative is a good thing. It reminds me to be a deep thinker, and that I actually can be when I choose to be. It's too bad that doesn't happen to me all that often... guess I should work on that.

And, if your blog is for your girls, and is becoming more an extension of you, then I think that makes it all the more of a legacy to give to them!

Regina said...

You, your blog, your life, and your family are so .... so .... 'real'... and honest.

Thanks for opening the door and letting us peek in sometimes!

Hugs to you - and hope you're feeling healthy again real soon.

Redcinamn said...

Well since I know you personally let me comment :) You are a great mother, your daughters are a reflection of you and they are two wonderful kids. From what I have seen a pretty darn good wife too :) Although there are some aspects of that of course you will have to ask Razor about *Echem*. You are supportive and always have a nice word. You often leave me wondering "I wonder if she knows I appreciate her as a friend". So push those self doubts away. Your a needed individual to many....

amylouwho said...

I like this extension to yourself. And your girls will certainly treasure it. I always hope that asking these questions means your on the right track, because at the VERY least you care about how you are doing. We are our own worst critics, I'm pretty positive, from what I've seen here, that you are amazing at everything you do.
xoxox

Kelly O. said...

I wasn't aware that Confusious covered puking in his philosophies, however who am I to argue with anyone who is puking their guts out :(
hope you feel better soon :)

p.s. I think all women question themselves...it's normal