Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Jinxed

Around this time last year I rattled on about how evolved I was.  The days of my youth were but mere preparation for the goodness, completeness and acceptance that I had found within myself.

Blech. 

Seems I jinxed myself just as soon as I pushed publish. 



Since then I've spent more time than I care to admit studying the fine lines around my eyes.  And indignantly plucking gray hairs out of my eyebrows.  Doggedly glancing at twenty-somethings at the gym and marveling at their muscle ripped midriffs.  Shuffling around when I first wake in the morning trying to give my ankles time to warm up and get moving again.  Realizing the world really does value/cater/pander to youth.  And that in a group setting I'm no longer part of the "young" set.

I turned 40 in January and spent much of the year leading up to it worried and fretting.  Never having been one to be concerned with aging this shocked me.  And kind of pissed me off.  And then made me madder because I wasn't able to turn off the fret.

It's an interesting thing when the invincibleness of our youth becomes the fragility of our age.

But, I'm happy to report that I'm moving past it. 

After all, forty is the new twenty.  Or so they say.

-dana


27 comments:

Corinnea said...

I very rarely allow myself to see my "now" face. It scares me too much. I'll look just long enough to find that chin hair,groom my gray eyebrows and make sure nothing new has popped up. After that, I go back to seeing my 30 year old face. It's very comforting! Ha ha ha

beth lehman said...

I turned 40 in September... My knees have been creaking ever since! What bothers me more than my own aging is the aging of my parents... I am a little vain, though, so I am noticing lines and hairs, too....

tara said...

Yup, I am now 40 too. I dont mind it so much. An age spot on my forehead popped up I can do without.
being 20 something was hard, 30 something much better so 40 something should be cake

Leslie said...

happy 40th!!! you look lovely!

Andrea R said...

Oh the 40s are awesome! 42 this year for me, and they are going *much* better than the 30's.

Plus, as a "woman of a certain age" you can get away with all kinds of.. shenanigans. :D

dolores said...

Hahaha..oh you little puppy!:) I feel ya, but think of it this way...you TOTALLY can live another 40+ years....it's when you hit 50 and think....um...another 50?

I'm going to be 53 and I just don't worry about it anymore...but the chin hairs do bug me!:)

Cille said...

Those who say 40 is the new 20 are lying. But 40 is not too bad after all. You just stop caring so much about what others may think. Kind of liberating actually :)

Katie said...

I turned 40 in June, which was SO much harder than 30. I have come to terms with 40 now, but it really took some doing. And I do think 40 is the new 20. Used to be that at 40 you were middle aged. Uhhhh, I sure as heck am not, and I"m pretty sure you aren't either! Have fun with 40!

Andrea said...

40 was okay for me, it was a milestone, I coasted a few months on that notion. And now, as I approach 41 in May, it's kind of hitting me, the vanity thing. I won't go into it, but I really know how you feel. But vanity aside, I really love being in my 40's as you just get into this more confident and liberated mode, you feel settled and comfortable with who you are.

Sew Create It - Jane said...

Happy Birthday! I hit the 4-0- last June...you're in very good company! :o)

diane said...

If 40 is the new 20 then I am hoping 60 is the new 40! That's the birthday I will be celebrating this summer and it is the first time I am freaked out by age. You look great and have a beautiful family so forget about your age. There will be so many milestones coming up in the next decade with your girls. Sending good wishes and happy thoughts.
xo

Elissa said...

i think the problem is that mentally and emotionally getting older sort of rocks, but physically it bites the big one... and carves the grand canyon through the middle of your... sorry, MY... forehead, and makes your middle soft no matter how many sit ups you do and gravity is against you, your bum, your boobs and your joints. so, while we evolve and flourish on the inside, our outsides aren't always reflecting that growing confidence and contentment.

youth IS wasted on the young, my friend. nuff said.

Dirt Road Quilter said...

You wear it well and heck, it beats the alternative! So you might as well live it up and kick up your heels, all the while ignoring the fact that certain body parts will jiggle while kicking said heels. Just don'r pull anything in the process! :)

Sara said...

Why do we fall for the significance of the numbers ending with zero?

For me, this year is the seven zero. And I've set myself up for years by thinking that when I turned 70 I would have to move to be near my children, and give up driving, and God knows what else bad would be happening to me.

It doesn't have to be true. Yes, there are health issues, it's hard to stay asleep, and I'm slowing down when I rise and stride forth into the world. [Hot shower first thing helps with the body aches.] But in my mind, I'm still about 30, 40, 50 or maybe 43.
I have lots of quilts still only in my mind.
I want to see the first woman President.
I'm going to keep traveling as soon as I get this knee replaced.
And deep in the night, my prayer life is improving!

CitricSugar said...

LOL. I don't think you could pay me to relive my twenties....

You are beautiful and amazing, and as for 40... OWN IT! You earned every day of it. It's a badge of honour, baby!

Trudi said...

lol Happy Birthday Sweetie! What can I say that hasn't been said already, Enjoy!

Molly said...

Happy Birthday Dana! I hit that number a few years ago and, really, it's not that bad. I was at a really tumultuous place when I hit 30 and by 40 I was settled and very peaceful. Well, as peaceful as you can feel with three kids ....

Enjoy it and look back and see all you've accomplished so far. You have an incredible family and lots of love and you can only get there with a few years under your belt.

Kim said...

Yeah 40 was hard for me too.
Aging is an attitude shift.

Now I am just glad everything still works. That I am loved and have someone special to love. That I out lived two of my siblings that died of cancer at 56.
See it's all good :0).

Happy birthday! I'm a Jan. birthday too.

Happy Sewing

AnnieO said...

Aging in these modern times is odd. My mom and her near-age cousin recently decided that they are "upper middle aged" (early 70s!!) I asked what that made me, a "young adult"? I believe I could be satisfied with that description, now that I turned 50 a couple of months ago...

Enjoy your 40s, they are way different from 30s, as you are discovering. But for lots of good reasons too!

Colleen said...

Happy Birthday!! I also have a January birthday and am two years older. Now that I "am in my 40's" its alright. You'll be fine!

QuiltNut Creations said...

I was thrilled to turn 30, mediocre about 35 and excited to turn 40; 21 on the other hand freaked me right out lol.

Dena said...

Might I say "Yeah for you for even being in the gym to notice the 20 somethings"
Happy 40th Beautiful. You got nothing to fret about. That is why there is hair color and I use it often:)

Jacque. said...

"forty is the new twenty"...hmmmm, methinks that is in elk years.

Mama Said Sew said...

I never worried too much about gray hair and wrinkles until I was sitting with my 9 year old son in the Target Optical boutique one day. After getting his new glasses, he turned to me and said, "Wow, Mom! I can see all your wrinkles now!". Oh from the mouths of babes.....

Jennifer @ Ellison Lane Quilts said...

I think you look fabulous and 40 better be the new 20 because I am not too far behind you.
:)

Janine said...

and 50 is ? ... just old?

maggiegracecreates said...

I love that picture of you. And at 46 I so understand that morning "hobble"

Have a great day.