Thursday, May 6, 2010

Transition




For many years I was one of those moms. One of those moms that had a bag full of supplies needed for little kids. Snacks, drinks, wipes, toys. And sometimes I was fumbly and it seemed like I had everything with me but the kitchen sink.

Somewhere along the line things changed and I've written before about how I'm not so good with change.

I am no longer that mom. Because I don't need to be. No more little kids. No diaper bag. No snacks. No baby wipes. Or sun hats. Or extra socks carried around like a pack mule.

I no longer have little kids.





I've known this for awhile and have even enjoyed many of the benefits. When we go to the pool I can lounge and read a book. Not chase around wee ones on toddling legs. When we are all at home I can sometimes sew or garden or read. Not be on the entertainment committee 24 hours a day. When we go for a hike I can run and romp and explore. And not be weighed down by a bag of snacks and drinks and band aids.

But sometimes I still want to be that mom. Even though I was clumsy and seemed to leave a trail of supplies in my wake, at least then I knew my role. I knew exactly what was expected of me.






For you see, this one has reached an age where the waters are muddy. When I drop her off at school she scurries out of the van so fast and doesn't look back. She is navigating a world of friends and boys and a need to find her place.

And she is managing it beautifully.







Far, far better than I.

-dana


P.S. And she is making her first quilt from a pattern. Made from this kit she got for Christmas.

37 comments:

Denise said...

I could have written this post...I am in the same place right now, kids are older, amuse themselves, much more independent...and the girl child is also working on her first quilt! Sometimes I feel like I am missing something when I leave the house, and that would be the giant bag of stuff to keep everyone happy. It is a nice transition. : )

Shorty said...

My dear, I understand this period of transition you are going through. It is so tough! But it is also so wonderful to see a child growing into their own identity.

I get frustrated sometimes with myself when I remember my impatience with all of the stuff I had to pack and keep with me and how I would be late to where I needed to go b/c I wasn't so efficient rounding all those things up; I would also get tired from all of the chasing around I had to do. And now I just long for closeness with my son. That time went by so fast.

It is so cool to see your daughter working on her quilt. The fabric is so cute, and those seams look perfect! I hope she'll share with us her finished project!

Amy - Park City Girl said...

Ella is counting down the days until she turns 10! I'm still "that" mom for the rest of them, but she is growing and changing before my eyes. big hugs to you :)

Trisha said...

I just want to say AMEN! This is me too. I miss having little ones around the house, running errands with me, making me laugh at the funny things they say. It was simpler, less complicated mentally when they were younger. I have enjoyed my "freedom" too but I get a little wistful now and then.

BaileyGirl5 said...

I have those moments too .... where I realize that we've moved into a different stage in our lives. I'll never forget the first time I just left the house and went to the store. I stood there in the middle of the aisle thinking, "I didn't even think about leaving the kids home alone." I suddenly could just leave the house without getting a babysitter or desinating anyone to be in charge. Good ... but at the same time disconcerting ...

Jen said...

I'm in the baby chasing, and wrangling stage and I'm so looking forward to the time when I'm at where you are now. Although,I know I'll want these days back and miss them, I'm pretty much over them! I can't wait to be able to go to a get-together and not have to chase my 22 month old everywhere to see what she's into. I just want to relax and and with 2 kids and 5 years of this, I'm ready for some more freedoms! But I keep my chin up, because I know the day will be here soon enough!

Artfulife said...

Dana she has the prettiest dainty hands. I'm going through this with my Sloan, only I'm still packing around lots of stuff for the little ones. it is a strange place to be with her. She wants to be that cool kid and act a little older, but still loves to play Barbies and dolls. I think it's hardest for me to watch her grow up so quickly. I'm being replaced, sometimes.

Beth said...

Thanks for the post - my almost 10 year old is starting the transition - and I see yours is a lefty, too. I loved reading the other comments - I always felt frantic running with snacks (or without them...) - felt frustruted by not being able to do what I wanted (always struggling with my id). I could have written this, too, and although I sometimes feel wistful - I wouldn't go back!

Katie said...

Ack! This post brought tears to my eyes. My littles are still little, but thinking of this day makes me a bit weepy. ;)

madrekarin said...

It's just that beautiful part of life when the wings you have given them float them on to the next phase. You've done well. :)

Kathy M said...

Enjoy her growing independence. This is a time when a listening ear and shoulder is a wonderful thing. Our daughter is nineteen now and we feel honored that she continues to share what's going on in her life with us. There will be new adventures for all of you to share, look forward to those!

Kathy M said...

Enjoy her growing independence. This is a time when a listening ear and shoulder is a wonderful thing. Our daughter is nineteen now and we feel honored that she continues to share what's going on in her life with us. There will be new adventures for all of you to share, look forward to those!

Sandra said...

What a beautiful post. Love the photo of your daughter with her sewing machine. How precious that she is making her first quilt. My "baby" is getting married in two weeks. Where did the time go? Life is full of constant change and each new day truely is a blessing.

Dena said...

THis could be a whole new group for us."girls growing up". We had the neighbors grandkids over ages 6 and 4 and I just looked at them and missed my girls at that age and then at the same time was watching them deal so beautifully with the littler ones. Sometimes they come through the door and you never know what you are going to get. I'm with you sister. I love that she is quilting!!

Elissa said...

GULP. it's coming isn't it?

oh, well, at least i'm not that good at juggling the little ones without going crazy. you need a band aid or an extra pair of socks? what? you're getting hungry? you're getting a sunburn? yeesh. what do i look like? i thought you kids were taking care of yourselves these days! **wink**wink**

Trudi said...

How quickly they grow! Great post, I'm a wee bit ahead of you, as my little girl will be 13 in a matter of a few short weeks. The time goes so fast, enjoy all you can!

Purple Quilter Queen said...

AAAhhhh - that's such a sweet post. Yeah! Another quilter convert!! Jenn

wishes, true and kind said...

well said :)

NicNacManiac said...

I so can relate...my kidlets are 23 and 14 and no matter how much I try and 'Mother' them...they just won't have it...time to find myself I guess!! We are embarking on a new journey...let's enjoy it!!
Happy Thursday xOxONerina

Sue said...

my 6yo got that same machine for Christmas and she loves it, she's not quite up to making a quilt buy she's getting there

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

Been there - you'll get through it Dana - one day at a time.

CharityAnn said...

Many others have chimmed in, but I must too. For I know what you are saying. It is such an odd place to be at with your children. One minute you are so proud you feel as if you could burst, they seem bright, confident and Young. They are young! But not the little one we once cared for. I have two boys and am still experiencing all that you explained.

Rebecca Maples said...

I was you five years ago. My daughter was twelve, and my son was eight...so I had another baby. Now my youngest is five, and I'm almost there again! I can't have another one. I think at this point I have to wait for grandkids, but I'm hoping that will wait a few years;)

Enjoy every stage, none of them last long enough!

Ann said...

What a beautiful post. I have a little girl who is 6 and feel like I am a just a mile or two behind you. I love her sewing machine. Can you tell us a little more about it? My daughter loves to sew as well and this looks like something that could work well for her.

Emily said...

I hear ya Sist-a! I have expressed similar feelings (not as eloquently as you), and I got a puzzled look! I am happy to be here (so blessed) but at the same time, I liked that other place better. Hugs to you!

Vicki @ DottyJane said...

You daughter is beautiful! She looks very determined to make progress on her quilt:) My daughters are 28 and 24. At every stage of their lives I said, "I like this age the best." Now that they're adults, I feel the same. I'm still mom, who shares advice when asked, but we're friends now and that is very sweet!

Brenda said...

The stages of motherhood are amazing. As a grand mother who takes care of her little 2 year old granddaughter while Mom works, I am currently at the stage you described of having to carry all the diapers and food, etc. when we go to the park, etc. A real deja vu experience. Your daughter looks beautiful. Love her quilt also!

sarah, rsm said...

She is beautiful and a gifted quilter, Dana ... JUST LIKE HER MAMA!! :)

sarah, rsm said...

PS ... when I read the title of your post and saw the picture of your not-so-little-anymore daughter sewing on her little sewing machine, I thought the next picture was going to be her sewing on your old full-size machine ... perhaps the next transition?!

PaPa said...

Ya brought a tear, Boo I don't tell you often enough, you"re doing a great job raising the girls into wonderful little women.
PaPa

Denise in PA said...

Wow, Dana, you really hit a chord there! My "baby" turned 21 two weeks ago. She's been out of the house at college for the last 3 years. I have been feeling some of this over the last year or so...it took that long. I loved every minute of raising her. I kind of miss those days (not enough to do it again, mind you! o:)

kjquilts said...

I remember when this happened to me. I think most mothers who are active in their kid's lives go through this. This time in my life was when I took up quilting more than twenty years ago! Now that I am a grandmother who is very active in my grandchildren's lives I struggle to find time for quilting. Well, I don't really struggle. I still quilt everyday, I just don't cook or clean anymore!

brown robin said...

Oh, Dana. So sweetly said. I wonder about what that time will be like. I am still running around after the 3 year old, and trying to remember to enjoy every minute of it while my 7 yr old still needs me, then doesn't need me. It is an exhausting, amazing adventure in these parts. Hope that you're well. I've been on a bit of a blogging break myself.

VeeV said...

I want to know about this mauve janome!!!!

how sweet!!

xo
eva

amylouwho said...

so am I going to miss this stage? I'm totally a pack mule. :)

You are lovely. So are your kids. I love that you are teaching them to be creative. I can't wait to see her quilt when it's finished. you should link it up to sew and tell when it's finished - she will get lots of wonderful feedback! So far it looks great!!!

Tipper said...

She is managing beautifully and so are you :) You'll do just fine with the changes-just like you did just fine with being the pack mule : )

Sharon said...

"24 Hour Entertainment Committee..." lol That's me....still. I've got awhile before I'm in your place.....so thank you for the reminder of enjoying those moments that may not seem so special to me at the moment!

BTW - where on earth did you find that cute little Janome machine?