Thursday, August 9, 2012

I cried today



 I cried today.  And, but for not allowing it, my eyes could easily fill up and spill down over my cheeks again.  I do it every year.  Buy the school supplies.  New sneakers.  Meet the teachers.  Put money in the lunch accounts.  Feel anxious in my belly.  Grab my camera on the way out the door. Pet the kitties.  Huff at them to slow down as they excitedly walk to the car.  I need a picture I say.  Drive the ten minutes to school.  Shoulders droop at the site of all the cars, hustle and bustle on campus.  Pull around to the drop off point.  Eyes stinging with tears.  Doing my best to not allow it.  Telling them I love them.  Have a great day!  Swoosh.  Whoosh.  Doors slam shut.  Off they go.  Tears fall freely.  Down my face.  Not theirs.  At least there's that.  Driving home I wonder what it's all about.  Just weeks ago I bristled at the fact that I couldn't turn around in my own bathroom without my elbows bumping into one or the other of them.  Did we have a good summer?  Did they do more than bicker?  Did I do more than nag?  Back to school already?  It's only August 9th.  Hurry up 3:00pm.

-dana


27 comments:

**nicke... said...

oh dana! im so sorry! you are such a great mom! i am going to be feeling this in about a month. my little girl goes to preschool! how did that happen so fast!?!?

if i lived near you i would let you have my kids for the day! ;)

xoxo

bingo~bonnie said...

I love their solid color layered shirts!! They look so nice vs. how everyone else's kids seem to be walking billboards for name brands. :/ Kids try to hard to be like everyone else and have no idea how to be themselves these days! Loved your post too BTW and I feel the same as you....it's gonna be really hard for me to hold back my tears when my twins start PreK after Labor Day soon...

Love from Indiana! ~bonnie

linda said...

My baby will be a senior this year! Next year will definitely be the killer. I don't even like to think about it.

Kimberly said...

Oh, I hear ya! But still, I look forward to the routine of a new school year. You have beautiful girls and they just look so happy! We head for holidays tomorrow... back to school comes about Sept 4th for us, so still almost a month to go. I hope 3pm comes quickly for you!

Denise in PA said...

Oh, Dana, I feel for you. I cried every first day of school. College - that was the worst! It just shows how a great a Mom you are! Hugs o:)

Jessica said...

You guys start school early! A good summer makes it worth it, though.

Dirt Road Quilter said...

I WISH mine were still heading into 5th and 8th grade! One is in Afghanistan and one is in college. I'll join you in crying. Here's hoping they and you are blessed with new adventure!

Amber said...

Aww..I sympathize with ya! My boys are in 2nd and Kindergarten this year, both full day, and I'm already having a hard time with it and school doesn't start for another 1.5 weeks here!

marilyn said...

I'm crying right along with you. Of course, I have to go back to school when the kids do, so maybe some of those tears are for me too. I feel you pain at watching the kids grow up, where does the time go? Hugs to you today!

Kristen said...

Oh Dana I am with you. Time flys. I will cry when all three go to school. They do look beautiful in these pictures! However, having just refereed a fight between my two girls about who got the milk out of the fridge first(?), I am feeling less than sentimental about the first day of school on the 27th. ;)

grendelskin said...

Aww, you're such a mushball! I love your Mommy posts.

Artfulife said...

You are making me cry! It happens all too quickly doesn't it? Hope they both had an amazing first day of school.

Anonymous said...

I hear you! My three girls are all grown now. I miss those days, wish I had them back. Enjoy it all Dana.

craftytammie said...

i hope i feel that way next friday. because today, i cannot wait for them to be gone from the house!! the fighting and the noise and the mess is driving me insane. hang in there momma!

DebbyMc said...

I always cried. Every single year. Even when they were in high scool. Yep, k-12. You are a sweet mom. And you choked me up! As you often do =-)

Heidi Staples said...

I cry too... and I home school! Not sure why really, but I guess it's just the realization that they're growing up in front of me. Every year is another milestone. How do they constantly manage to drive you nuts and break your heart with love at the same time?

Kristen said...

Awww, what a sweet thing to read. My husband was the one that worried and stressed first days. Me, not so much. ;)

My last one enters her last year in high school. I'm excited for her. I also told her she wasn't to leave home afterward. ;) Having them leave home is where it gets me hardest, then I'm the one swallowing my tears as I know they need to spread their wings and fly.

What beautiful pictures you have of your girls. Such memories being made.

You're such a great mom. :D

beth lehman said...

right there with you. my problem is that right after i cry i have to go to my school and work!!! i will be crying on tuesday. oh, actually, i'm crying now thinking about it. i have a middle schooler for the first year!!

JessiBerry said...

I'm going to cry for you! I haven't felt this yet (I still have at least 2 more years before preK), but I see the moms that bring in their little ones and see their faces as the kids try to rush them out. I love this time of year in the school, things are so fresh and new, even the kids changes of the summer is so fun to see. It is amazing how fast the time goes when you can see the changes taking place right before your eyes...

Karamat said...

Hope everyone had a good first day back!! Including you :) Mine isn't off to school for another year & I'm already a mess just thinking about it.

Katie @SwimBikeQuilt said...

This is beautiful. Just what I needed to read with a month left of summer. Sometimes that last month... Well, a good reminder! Hope your girls had a wonderful day! Can't believe how grown up they are.

diane said...

But then after you dropped them off did you breath a big sigh and think, "what can I do for the next 6 hours?" How well I remember those days.

Lara said...

You girls are growing so much! Ollie starts school in October and I am crying about it every time I think about it! Waaah! Why do they grow so quick!

Kim said...

Those are two happy, wonderfully rounded, young ladies, don't second guess yourself Dana you are a great Mom. Have a great school year...you know how fast they go!

Hugs and warm Mom support coming your way

Melanie said...

My money says you did everything right---- because you cared enough to ask the question.... Save this post.... they'll love you for it when they are about 22 years old..... No more tears--- get to quilting....

The Thompsons said...

They're super cute! My son goes to school for the first time in less than 3 weeks, and I randomly tear up just thinking about it. You're definitely not alone.

badlandsquilts said...

Wow! School starts early there?! Your girls looks so cute, hope they have a great year!